Unmet Expectations
The expectations we have about motherhood that lead to “Mom guilt”
This devotional is geared for the busy mamas, those with multiple little ones, who are trying so hard to be a “perfect mom," and trying hard to get it all right. I had to break free from guilt and shame myself, so I write this humbly and out of first-hand experience.
“Mom guilt” is a real battle that all of us mothers will face at some point. I feel it’s this lying whisper of guilt from the enemy that we are not “doing enough,” and that we need to be “perfect.” The truth is, no one is a perfect Mom. I believe we Moms need to guard our hearts against comparing ourselves with other Moms, and even from comparing our children to other children. We need to cling to a perfect God and guard our hearts from comparison, because it is a trap that gets our eyes off of Jesus!
I’m going to expose some unmet expectations that I have faced which led me to feeling guilt from the enemy:
The house should always be clean and laundry should be folded, otherwise I’m a lazy Mom.
My children should listen and be obedient, because I’m training them up in the ways of the Lord.
I should be reading my Bible at least 30 minutes a day otherwise, I’m a horrible Christian.
I shouldn’t let my kids watch more than 60 minutes of screen time, otherwise my kids will get addicted to media and have problems.
These are just a few unrealistic expectations that give ground to the enemy to whisper lies of guilt and shame. Thoughts of “I’m not doing enough” or “my kids are not acting right” consume us, leaving us defeated and filled with anxiety, exhaustion, and condemnation. We feel defeated and discouraged, and feel that we are not good mothers at all.
Most of the above examples are things we should try to achieve, but if they are not met we need to be content and okay, and know that God loves us perfectly in our weakness. He never calls us to be perfect or get it all right. He is our strength, and our identity does not lie in our house being clean all the time, our children acting right, how much we read our Bible, and even how much screen time we let our children watch. Our identity is in Christ, who gave His life on the cross for our salvation! I feel the biggest blessing we can give our children is to be so close to Jesus, knowing who we are in Christ, that the lies of the enemy will have no room to run havoc and to bring guilt into our lives about our homes, ourselves, our husbands, and our children. We cling to the truth that “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
The next time the enemy whispers lies to you to bring shame and guilt, you say, “Leave me, guilt and shame. You have no right to stay in my mind, in the mighty name of Jesus!” Then you replace those lies with the truths of your identity in Christ.
We are daughters of the King, we are forgiven, loved, cherished, called, equipped. Personalize this, knowing that “the Lord is going to keep giving me the strength to raise up my children no matter what my circumstances we or they are in. In Jesus’ mighty name! Amen!”
Let’s walk in our identity and show our children who they are in Christ, and then I believe the “Mom guilt” will fade away in the name of Jesus!
Blessings,
Kingdom Mama